Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Dear Friend...

I am completely at a loss to understand your behavior at this time. I have given this great thought in the last 24 hours, and feel it's time you start thinking of someone besides yourself.

Our sons both emailed me last night. You know this because you were included in their request. It was said you are no longer attending Mom's weekend at school, nor the rival lacrosse game with BSU because your feelings are hurt over my comment that we would find other accommodations.

Mom's weekend is suppose to be a time to get together with our students, and in this case, enjoy a promising competitive lacrosse game played by our sons as well as the first Parent Booster Tailgate party. It's a time for laughing. Telling stories. Enjoying the moment to be recognized as the Mom of an amazing kid!

What does it matter to you where we stay? If we choose to sleep in Missoula, MT or Lewiston, ID - it's our business. You raised a stink in your email stating YOU were staying in YOUR condo. Wonderful. So do it. You could have just called me, as you said, to discuss the plans. You would have seen that, while we might be cozy, there is no problem with having a couple extra pairs of people in the apartment. The only time it would even be noticeable is bedtime. The rest of the weekend is full of events.

Our daughter's roommates have graciously offered to clean and share their place with our family. Krieg still wants his grandparents to stay and the boys are completely on board with sleeping on air mattresses in the living room to accommodate their moms. Always have been.

Our sons are trying to come up with ways to make sure you will still come up for Mom's weekend and be a part of the festivities. They should be focusing on school and working on preparations for their big game.

I explained to both of them that any discord between you and I should not be a surprise. It's been a long time coming. I work. We plan our weekends around spending time with our family, whether it's lacrosse travels or at home. You focus on your youngest son's activities and directing his life. I've called, left messages, texted, sent emails... most go unanswered. You contact me when you want to tell me about someone who's wronged you again or tell me how difficult your life has been. I've listened for many years. Have you heard anything I've shared with you?

It's clear you do not hear what I say. I never came out to ask you permission to have my parents sleep at the apartment. In fact I think our visit in February was more like "hey my parents are coming for the BSU game. I didn't realize it was Mom's weekend and we can't get a room anywhere. Krieg wants us to stay at the apartment". At that time you were noncommittal about your plans - couldn't possibly think that far out - because you didn't know what your other son's schedule would be.

This is NOT about you. This is NOT about your feelings. This is about our sons. Grow up for heaven's sake. It's time to put your big girl pants on and think of someone besides yourself.