Karma...

Today I had to stand up for myself.  And I did. 

Another's miserable feelings were pushed on to me.

I was surprised and disappointed as I had hoped the effort to open lines of communication would help to resolve the animosity. 

Instead I heard a martyr tell me I was unhappy at my old job and carried it to my new job.  Imagine my surprise.  I loved my old job.  I loved the mobile visits to small town Idaho.  I loved using my Spanish speaking skills to meet delightful little ladies.  I left to improve myself and use the skills I knew I had buried.  I did not close those doors and remain in contact with many on a regular basis.  I was informed the only reason my coworker has been seeking employment elsewhere was to make me happy...  completely overlooking the fact this job hunt has been ongoing since my arrival. Don't put that on me.

Admittedly I was unhappy a couple weeks ago.  The silent treatment will do that to anyone.  After a talk with my boss last week I explained myself somewhat and shared how I felt about the relationship with my coworker.  I shared how upset I was and had considered another job offer...  I shared how after the offer, the reality of my situation was put before me, making it clear where I needed to be. We both knew it was God's hand revealing itself.

Today we agreed to create a means to 'communicate'.  I see it as a way to avoid speaking to one  another.  I tried to share today and it was turned back around denying any negativity.  There seems to be concern about the future for our position.  I guess I don't have that sense of urgency.  Early on I had to seek out opportunities to prove myself and make myself avaialable to everyone in the department.  But in the end whatever happens is out of my control.

We are suppose to be a team and work together. Somehow everything I say is deflected. Instead it's what I say or do and still at the end the day feeling you've been wronged. I'm sorry you feel this way.

I return to my work week tomorrow with the fresh attitude I gained last week.  I have a fine outlook on life and enjoy working with the folks around me.  I've done that on my own.  I have been tasked with finding my own routine, my own niche.  I have great coworkers and friends.  And I have an awesome family to come home to every night. 

Proudly today I stood up for myself.