Sunday, October 12, 2008

Rhetorical ?'s - No Answers

What is the value of ignoring someone when you are upset. In reality no one wants to be confronted but you certainly don't want to go on making matters worse either. Sometimes it takes time to sort out what was said or done or to understand why it stung. How does the offender apologize or change their ways if they go on unaware something upset you. Maybe it was misinterpreted and not meant in the way it was received. We don't always know what is happening. Of course we aren't mind readers either. Is your burden truly something worth confining into the crevices of your heart or would someone be able to help you carry the load if you shared? It's a grown up thing... sit down and talk one on one. Talk about what matters. Listen to what is said.

Where do we stand in the big scheme of things? Are we really a united family-type group or is it just what we say to onlookers when it's convenient? Do we make ourselves available to others if they choose to reach out? Shouldn't we be able to seek comfort when we are down or need a shoulder? Is the tie that binds you together just those you were raised with? Do you have to share parents? What if you have shared losses? Is it about control or who's in charge? What about time together? During the holidays are you inviting others to share your time?

When do you finally say enough is enough? At what point do you decide if someone wants to be a part of your life they can make the effort - or at least meet you halfway. This is not an easy decision and in time you want to throw your hands in the air and shout 'uncle'. You hope traditions will continue but you see things slipping away. Sometimes you try to rekindle tradition or create new and you hit a wall. You ask yourself what has changed but uncertainty is the only answer. How many invitations go unaccepted before you no longer extend them? How many times do you come up with the plan so everyone can spend time together? OR When do you stop and inventory what has gone wrong and try to mend fences? Perhaps what you thought was a big deal at the time really isn't as important now. Is it time to reevaluate and call someone you haven't shared with in a while? Is it time for them to answer? Time to move forward?

Why do phone calls or messages go unanswered? It seems a common courtesy you would extend to a family or friend. It's the age of texting, emails and cell phones. Snail mail long forgotten. Just a quick note or returned call just to acknowledge 'hey it's crazy here but I got your message'. It's understandable there are times you don't feel like talking. Does the continued seclusion make matters any better or is it self-pity festering the problem?

Who doesn't enjoy receiving gifts in the mail or an unexpected package? It's nice for the sender to know the package arrived. Everyone is busy. How much time would it take to send a quick email acknowledging you got the package or a thank you for the gift after the sender thought to send it.

Yes... lots of questions. No Answers. Maybe it's the time of year. Holidays approaching. Money disappearing. Election impending. Nerves on edge. Tempers flaring. Name calling. Finger pointing. Everyone is tired. Worried.

Call me old fashion. I just want the creature comforts. My family. My good friends. Less anxiety and more pleasantries. A simple returned phone call. An answered email. Even a thank you.

And in case I haven't said it often enough 'thank YOU'!.


Ginny said...

Great post! We could all benefit from reading it. :0)

Shelly said...

What a thought provoking piece - thanks for letting me know about your blog. And by the way - thank you for being's been a lot of years, and through a lot -some years closer in distance and spirit - but no matter how long it's been, I've always felt we were always able to pick up where we left off. Thanks for being a friend!