Really...

You have set yourself up for a lonely future. You continue to alienate everyone near you. When you finally carry out your move from this area it will be because you've exhausted any allies.

There was no need for you to have your husband email me because (gasp) I sent you an email, some 2-1/2 weeks ago, asking if you wanted to talk. No malice. No threats. Just an inquiry. We'd been friends for over five years. If you weren't feeling guilty about your poor behavior, you would have had the decency and respect to speak to me yourself.

You can rest assure I would have stopped sending the albums of lacrosse pictures I have always shared with team parents, but forgot you were in the parent group I used.

We've traveled in a similar circle of friends. I've gone out of my way to protect you and make excuses for your attitude for years. I no longer feel the need to do so. When asked I will share.

Get over yourself!

Exhausted...

I'm tired. No - I'm exhausted. Mike is making progress. He is able to get up and down the stairs with effort. The narcotics he takes are upsetting his stomach and causing other problems. We have several areas for him to rest now in the house.

I've barely made it out of sweats and a pony tail this week. I cooked tonight - fish tacos in honor of Cinco de Mayo. The smell made Mike more nauseous. Matt and Brit went to her grandparents to help with a demolition project. Dinner went straight from the oven to the refrigerator. No one to eat.

Tomorrow I head back to work. Thankfully it's a short week. I'm fortunate my boss was able to do some schedule rearranging to enable me to stay home with Mike until tomorrow. I've had a horrendous sinus headache on top of looking after Mike and being so tired.

In "other news" department, Matt & Brit are scheduled to close on their first home this week. It's very exciting! In addition, one more week and Krieg will be moving home too.

So much going on in our household. One day at a time...

Mike...

Tuesday morning Mike and I were up bright (OK so foggy) and early (it definitely was early) for his admit to the hospital. The surgeon met up with us in Pre-op. I listened to Mike make jokes... they aren't any better under medication. Fortunately his two pre-op nurses were both Patti so he didn't have to remember many names.

Dr. M told me the surgery would be 3-4 hours. He is very precise and since he's dealing with spinal cords and nerves that's perfectly alright for me. It was a long morning waiting alone. When the lunch hour approached I debated about going to the cafeteria but figured I'd be hearing shortly. The O.R. nurse called to give me an update, said they'd be another hour and feel free to get lunch. I got the pager from the waiting room staff and went to the cafeteria for lunch. I barely sat down down when the pager went off. I packed up my salad and headed back. Dr. M. would be coming to speak with me soon... which was actually another hour.

Dr. M. explained what he'd done to Mike's vertebrae - involving shaving bone that was pinching the nerve (he said Mike was VERY tight), and adding screws in from both sides. I have my souvenir x-ray to prove the work. He said Mike would be in a great deal of pain but when they had him up moving around he'd notice right away there was no further numbness in his legs. Dr. M. did a bit of extra work beyond L2-6 into the next section above to prevent further trouble down the road. He also took bone from Mike's hip to insert between the vertebrae which will assist the healing.

They also had to give him 2 units of blood after using some of his own during surgery. Apparently he was "oozy" - a technical term? Dr. M. asked if he'd had aspirin or motrin, which he had not.

I really appreciate Dr. M's attention to Mike and taking the time to answer questions.

Mike spent five hours in surgery and another 1-1/2 hours in recovery before being moved to his room. I watched him sleep in and out. He has 3 drains and a morphine pump. His eyes were swollen from the petroleum jelly and tape used during surgery. His body is full of fluids. Doesn't quite look like himself.

I went home for a couple of hours and returned with Matt. We watched Biggest Loser in Mike's room while he slept. He has a lot of nausea and wasn't able to eat even a light meal. I'm sure tomorrow will be a better day.

Our lacrosse family...

For the past 3 years we've shared the sidelines with some wonderful people. We traveled from our homes throughout the Pacific Northwest. We gathered on the edge of a field, sometimes in bleachers, sometimes in our chairs, many of us paced the border to take pictures. We've sat through cold temperatures, hot temperatures, wind, some rain, sleet and even a few snow flurries. Our hearts were always warm. We followed one another's family events. We welcomed in-laws, new grand babies, siblings and extended family. We shared stories of our life away from lacrosse. We shared a common bond - our sons.

Several of these families we've known beyond Vandal Lacrosse, but still brought together through a lacrosse experience. These are bonds that have been shared and will remain throughout the years to come.

I'm emotional. It's a bittersweet feeling - to know we will no longer travel to watch Krieg play with the Vandals. We are very proud of his skills and leadership. We are very proud to have been brought together with our lacrosse family members. You will always have a special spot in our hearts.

God bless you all.

Is it Christmas?

I feel like a child on Christmas Eve. It's crazy.

My parents flew in from Wisconsin this afternoon. It makes my heart happy to see them. They came to see Krieg's final lacrosse game of the season (ok so now I'm not so happy).

Tomorrow morning we will drive to Moscow for Mom's Weekend. This is always fun but in reality it means long lines at the restaurants and a lot of traffic (ok so now I sound kind of negative). But for me it's Mom's Weekend times TWO Vandals!

I raised my hand earlier this month to organize the first ever Parent Booster Tailgate. Their are the usual group of parents at most games - home and away. The group is growing. More parents who really don't know each other better than to nodd and smile. We have a bond - our sons - lacrosse. The parents have been great about offering to bring - as we are all coming in from out of town - tables, chairs, supplies, dishes to share, burgers, coolers, sodas, water, desserts, etc. It promises to be a great pre-game event.

The big reason for my excitement... Saturday is the big in-state rival lacrosse game between University of Idaho Vandals and Boise (is not a) State University Broncos. It's your usual heavy hitting, blood shedding, high energy, intense lacrosse game. The sidelines will be wild! It's not just the students. Parents yell too. When Krieg played with BSU it was never comfortable. The parents are harsh and critical. That's not to say Vandal parents are perfect, I just think they are supportive in a positive manner. They are still loud. I will sit away from my husband and daughter...

I have butterflies in my stomach. I'm nervous. These rival games could change directions quickly. Historically these games have gone in favor of the team with home field advantage. It makes for a long ride home. These teams meet in the Fall during the Gem State Tournament. It's great to see a W in the column for UI like this year but it's no automatic indicator of what the spring outcome will be. This year the Vandal-BSU game is the IF game. IF BSU loses Saturday to UI and IF BSU loses to Gonzaga on Sunday, UI would have a seed in their first ever post season tournament play. It would mean additional games for 3 senior players, not quite ready to call it a season. (It would mean the same for those 3 senior player parents too!)

These boys deserve it like none other. They are a cohesive unit. They play so great together. They are amazing. I love them all. I will be silently (some of the time) praying (all of the time) for a Vandal Victory.

I'm tingly. I'm fluttery. I'm so anxious. You'd think I had the responsibility to gain possession of the ball in a tie breaking face off.

I-D-A-H-O - Idaho Idaho Go Go GO!

Mom's Weekend

This weekend was a NON game weekend. The original Washington State lacrosse game was cancelled because their team folded. No need to hit the road. However...

Our neighbor's 17 year old daughter normally watches Riley and the girls. She has been talking to me about U of I. She has a friend who attends U of I. When we thought we were going up this weekend I invited her to come along. She was very excited to visit with her friend. I didn't have the heart to cancel on her. There are many things going on next weekend at U of I when we visit - my parent's visit, Mom's weekend, Vandal Lacrosse, Tailgate... I decided I'd go up with Mary, visit the kids and enjoy the one on one time.

Turns out it was WSU's Mom's weekend. Moms and students dressed in maroon all over Pullman AND Moscow. Eight miles and a state line are not enough to stop WSU from coming to U of I.

Apparently the Washington State Cougars are more than a school mascot. The moms... well... 'nuf said.

I had the pleasure of finally meeting Krieg's girlfriend Karissa. She's very sweet. She's also very tiny. Erin gave Mary a tour of the campus. I took pictures. I had dinner with Krieg and Karissa and while Erin worked I made cookies at the boy's apartment. I learned their oven has a fine line between still doughy inside and oh crud!

When Erin got off work the two of them spent 20 minutes convincing me we should go downtown and listen to a Canadian blue grass band called Clumsy Lovers at John's Alley. Here I am... hair up - sweats on. But I went with Erin, Matt & Brit last year. Krieg wasn't 21 yet. He thought it would be fun. Erin and I headed home for a shower and change of clothes and we called Krieg as we went downtown. He was too tired. Poor thing needed his beauty rest. We relentlessly sent him updates from the bar. We even stopped in to visit his girlfriend while she worked. We had a great girls night out. I stayed up past my bedtime and then sat up and talked with Erin until later.

What a great day - time with Erin and Krieg. Next weekend we will be so busy with all the events. I'm glad I didn't miss out on this opportunity!

Dear Friend...

I am completely at a loss to understand your behavior at this time. I have given this great thought in the last 24 hours, and feel it's time you start thinking of someone besides yourself.

Our sons both emailed me last night. You know this because you were included in their request. It was said you are no longer attending Mom's weekend at school, nor the rival lacrosse game with BSU because your feelings are hurt over my comment that we would find other accommodations.

Mom's weekend is suppose to be a time to get together with our students, and in this case, enjoy a promising competitive lacrosse game played by our sons as well as the first Parent Booster Tailgate party. It's a time for laughing. Telling stories. Enjoying the moment to be recognized as the Mom of an amazing kid!

What does it matter to you where we stay? If we choose to sleep in Missoula, MT or Lewiston, ID - it's our business. You raised a stink in your email stating YOU were staying in YOUR condo. Wonderful. So do it. You could have just called me, as you said, to discuss the plans. You would have seen that, while we might be cozy, there is no problem with having a couple extra pairs of people in the apartment. The only time it would even be noticeable is bedtime. The rest of the weekend is full of events.

Our daughter's roommates have graciously offered to clean and share their place with our family. Krieg still wants his grandparents to stay and the boys are completely on board with sleeping on air mattresses in the living room to accommodate their moms. Always have been.

Our sons are trying to come up with ways to make sure you will still come up for Mom's weekend and be a part of the festivities. They should be focusing on school and working on preparations for their big game.

I explained to both of them that any discord between you and I should not be a surprise. It's been a long time coming. I work. We plan our weekends around spending time with our family, whether it's lacrosse travels or at home. You focus on your youngest son's activities and directing his life. I've called, left messages, texted, sent emails... most go unanswered. You contact me when you want to tell me about someone who's wronged you again or tell me how difficult your life has been. I've listened for many years. Have you heard anything I've shared with you?

It's clear you do not hear what I say. I never came out to ask you permission to have my parents sleep at the apartment. In fact I think our visit in February was more like "hey my parents are coming for the BSU game. I didn't realize it was Mom's weekend and we can't get a room anywhere. Krieg wants us to stay at the apartment". At that time you were noncommittal about your plans - couldn't possibly think that far out - because you didn't know what your other son's schedule would be.

This is NOT about you. This is NOT about your feelings. This is about our sons. Grow up for heaven's sake. It's time to put your big girl pants on and think of someone besides yourself.