Caution - Angry Woman: If I had the chance to say it in person I would...

Today my dear friend Ethel is being interviewed by her state's equivalant of Children's Services. I am so frustrated and angry for her.

We met too many years ago - on a tennis court in Puerto Rico - and neither of us play. Her son falls neatly between our sons chronologically. I frequently added him to the collection when we went places.

I fondly remember making last minute trips with Ethel to San Juan because that was the closest place to find what we were craving. "Yo quiero Taco Bell!". Ethel accompanied me on a crazed scavenger hunt for a stuffed animal the year our 6 year old daughter announced the only gift she wanted was a reindeer for Christmas (in the Caribbean).

Even stateside we managed to get together. When her daughter was born we were chosen to be Godparents. They made trips to Wisconsin and we met in Indianapolis for a Labor Day weekend of Indy tours, Zoo visits and the Discovery Museum with all the kids. Our long distance friendship remained steadfast.

I held her hand and hugged long distance when Earl proudly bragged of his affairs. I calmed her when police were called to her home. I prayed for her during her nasty divorce. I was relieved when she finally said enough was enough - and got away from a very controlling, bitter man who if he admitted his instabilities could perhaps be a decent person on medication. I say this because I truly believe Ethel saw something in this man when she fell in love.

Today she has to defend herself. I wish I were there to remind her how much she is loved. I'm praying she feels the guidance and self confidence she needs to be strong.

I'm angry at you, Earl and your 20-something wife for putting Ethel in this position. Why did you make these allegations? Isn't enough to dangle expensive gifts in front of a 17 year old girl? Isn't enough to take her on vacations her mother cannot afford? Instead Ethel is home working two jobs to pay for a band trip or a prom dress and you make her life difficult. Have you no shame? You took your daughter away for Thanksgiving. Was it too much for Ethel's parents to hope to see her for Christmas? Instead you tell your daughter if she wants her gifts she must come with you ON Christmas day! Always the one everyone must work around. Never relenting. Must you feed on the immature comments of a teenager who only wants your love and will say or do anything for your approval. You've gone too far!

Earl, you prey on weakness. You aren't happy unless you can have complete control of everyone around you. RSB, there will come a day... be prepared. Be scared. Take care of yourself. You are not immune from his irrational behavior.

In the meantime, RSB, if you want to be someone's friend try their daughter. She's not your daughter. Be her friend. Stand back and stop interfering. It's not your place to make her plans. It's not your place to contact Ethel's family or friends. No, you don't know me well nor will we ever be good friends. PS. Your husband doesn't care for me because I encouraged Ethel to be strong against him.

Remember Earl, you also have a son. Stop using money and gifts to say you love him. Shunning him and then saying "oh I had money for you if you'd stopped to talk to me", doesn't make you a good parent. Spend some time with him. Acknowledge how hard he works - to win your approval.

These children should know unconditional love. Instead you use emotional teenage drama to cut the heart out of their mother because you refuse to let her live her life without still having control.

Please Earl, for once in your life, be a man! Despite my anger and hostility towards you I will pray you one day find it in your heart to be the person you could be if you tried.

In the meantime, Ethel, know you have my love, my thoughts and prayers.

Your friend always,
Lucy

The first results are in...

It's time to weigh in... it's possible I found my groove...

Four weeks into my personal promise.

Four weeks into our Biggest Loser participation.

Four weeks of exercising.

Four weeks of counting calories and making smart choices.

Four weeks I outlasted all of those, with New Years Resolutions,

who clogged the exercise equipment at the Y.

Four weeks I managed to stick, with my healthy life style thru work and play.

I have a fresh mind set.

Once upon a time, I use to be athletic.

Once upon a time I could play basketball - not just H-O-R-S-E.

Once upon a time I could hit a softball and run the bases.

I wouldn't be able to pinpoint the moment I quit taking care of myself.

Perhaps it was just set aside while I was taking care of my husband and family.

I wasn't a single parent but there were times...

I let every day living take priority because it was important to me.

I quite playing the games myself

and took a seat on the sidelines proudly watching my kids.

I wouldn't mind regaining some of that energy.

I remember a time when running after work was the norm.

Oh that was a LONG time ago.

I do not enjoy running any more.

But I have found some replacements that work with my varied work routine.

Who knew treadmills didn't have to be monotonous.

I have found a couple programs on the treadmill

offering cross country paths.

I walk up virtual hills, down virtual valleys and

when I have four or five minutes of level ground I even run a bit.

Scary, huh?!

All of those years joking about my 'virtual workout' and now it's a reality.

I am excited knowing when I step on the treadmill,

plug in the tunes or dial in a TV show

I can walk away nearly 600 calories!

It feels so 'freakin' good too!

I found a great online program to track my calories and exercise.

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/

There is even an 'App' for my phone.

I now obsess over the calories of the food I ingest and

decide if it's really worth it in the end (or the backside).

It's a perfect solution for my OCD-ness.

Did you know a bowl of Fettucini Alfredo from a

popular Italian restaurant chain is 1220 calories!

Absolutely nuts... that's more than my entire days worth of calories.

My faithful diet and exercise companions,

Mike and Britnee, also frequent the Y.

Water aerobics have proven to be another effective calorie burner twice a week.

Zap away nearly 500 calories doing something I enjoy!

We brave the chilly water at the end of a work day.

Yes you CAN break a sweat in the pool!

And BONUS - we've discovered fifteen minutes in the sauna after class and

walking out into the air feeling like a York Peppermint Patty.

In return for following me to water aerobics,

I go with Brit to Yoga class.

The 'fluid' motion hasn't quite made it into my routine.

I'm usually exhaling when the instructor is calmly saying inhale.

I have to peak under my arms or between my legs to see what

position she is in because I'm not familiar with Yoga-lingo.

When the room is full I have to be careful about my placement on my mat.

I tend to be all over - Up - Back - Up...

Brings back memories of scenes from a dog park.

You might even say it gives new meaning to 'downward facing dog'.

I have to admit. It's amazing how slow, deliberate motions can feel so good.

Stimulating and relaxing.

(Ha! Not even on my BEST day!)

This morning was the big first weigh in... I lost 9lbs.

It's not as much as I'd hope to shed but I put it in perspective.

In the pantry is a ten pound sack of sugar.

Holy heck!

Yes indeed there is that much LESS Deb to carry around!

Wahoooooooooooo!

On the mend...

Looks like our family members are on the mend.

Mike's hand now has five fingers all pointing the same (normal) direction. No surprise he took off the splint within 48 hours of the dislocation to type on the computer on Friday morning. At least he's taping them. They still look a tad swollen - until you compare it to the other hand. He is already back at the Y 3 days a week for his work out.

Tonya had her surgery last week Wednesday. They were late getting started. She was groggy and in a great deal of pain after surgery. Her scheduled departure on Friday came and went. She wasn't managing the pain well and still using the pump for med distribution. She was hopeful for Saturday but as it turned out ended up not being discharged until Monday morning.

While in the hospital she also had an MRI on her shoulder. She is having difficulty with range of motion in her shoulder. It looked normal.

The doctor showed her the xray. She said it looked like a bicycle chain was in her foot - along with the plate and steel pins. She is 'non weight bearing' for 2-3 months. Please continue to pray for a complete recovery.

I plan to resend the "No Drama in 2010" memo to our family one more time!

Just the Cool Kids!

I work with women. The majority of our sites see only women for mammograms. This week I've been working at our diagnostic site and yes an occasional man is seen, as they are not immune to breast cancer. However, the majority of men we see at this particular site are husbands.

Today I want to acknowledge how much we, the Associates who are registering patients, are doing to keep our lovely techs and nurses sheltered from small bladdered males!

We only allow women to use the restrooms in the back area. The majority of our patients are women and some have a great deal of modesty. We respect that about them. The husbands are asked to use the restrooms located in the main hospital - not far from our entrance.

Apparently it's quite a task to walk back out the door, down the stairs and into the hospital (it's not as far as it seems) to relieve themselves. It's preferred to stand at the short wall next to our registration desk and drone on and on about how it's discrimination to keep them from using the restrooms in the back - despite the fact it was explained to them the penis to vagina ratio behind said closed door.

Today after the first delightful gentleman left, his intellectual, chunky friend arrived. When he wasn't having a very loud conversation on his cell with his buddy he was making unsolicited small talk with us. He shared his knowledge of facts on breast cancer awareness in the male populus (not quite accurate) and felt that should be good enough numbers to get him entrance into the back.

Like one of those big city clubs, Megan and I are here at the door with our scanner and velvet rope only letting in the cool kids! Surely it's five o'clock somewhere!

In my head...

I hear music in my head. Or songs. Sometimes it's a song I haven't heard in forever. Sometimes it's the songs I listened on my iPod while on the treadmill.

Lately these songs are in my head when I wake up - or before I wake up - during that stage of the morning when your brain is still fighting the reality of the noise from the alarm and your overwhelming desire to SLEEP!

Sometimes it's the whole song - over and over. Sometimes it's just pieces.

Today must be a short clip day - or I'm A.D.D. One minute I was "fifteen" and "fighting like a girl" and then "I've got a feeling - that tonight's going to be a good night..." and "put a ring on it".

I couldn't resist so I told my coworker. I knew she wouldn't look at me like I was daff - she already knows the truth. Now she's got songs stuck in her head!

What can I say? I'm just a giver!

Working out can be hazardous to your health...

As part of our healthy living, we've been going to the Y to work out. Today Mike and I headed over when I got home from work. Into the Y - up the stairs to the Health and Fitness area. I'm heading for a treadmill knowing I will walk off about 300+ calories by the time I'm ready to leave. I think I hear a whoosh and a metal clang.

Turning around, what do I see but my husband at my feet and his Sigg water bottle rolling away with a large dent. Initially I am focused on the new Sigg bottle - the pretty red one - and the large dent! Then I reach for Mike, asking him if he's ok. He's trying to get up. People are crowding around. The young kid who helps in the area looks panicked and is waving across the room like a wind mill hoping his supervisor will see his need for assistance.

Mike is ok and I help him up off the ground. Suddenly I look and notice something not quite right. He has a serious scrap on his wrist. Ok - so not deadly but we'll keep an eye on it since he takes coumadin. And his hand.... holy heck... his finger is not pointing the right direction! It looks like it's cramping - with a mind of it's own. No blood. No reason to panic. However it's seriously not pointing the right direction. I'm not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV. I haven't even stayed at a Holiday Inn Express. But I know for certain it's not natural for one finger to point off to the side. The mere glance at it makes my stomach lurch and my body shiver.

The best we can figure, he stumbled on a metal bar from a piece of equipment, either left out or sticking out. He hit his knee or hip against it - both have bruises. He may have tried to catch himself or hit his hand against some equipment. It happened so fast.

We avoided the converging Y staff responding to the Code whatever... and opted for our own ride to the ER instead of a First Responder and Ambulance from Station 10. Every time I looked over at him in the passenger seat I felt my stomach lurch again. Ok so quit looking! We sent a message to the kids letting them know our work out was cut short and instead we would be visiting the ER.

The drive over was amusing for whatever reason. Mike tested out his ability to 'flip' someone off. He lifted his hand to wave at passer-bys. He tried his Boy Scout pledge with no success. He did have an excellent Vulcan greeting or "V" peace sign. He continued to perfect his Mork impersonation - Nanu Nanu. His concern was not the disjointed, crazy pointing finger but why didn't I keep a nail file in my car because he chipped his thumb nail when he fell. It was crazy. I had no choice but to laugh. If I didn't laugh (and I did) I would have been upset, crying or completely grossed out.

The ER staff at St Lukes was wonderful. (Of course!) We were quickly checked in and seen in a small room. In between staff visits Mike continued to entertain me. I think he was testing my tolerance for gross. We couldn't help but notice the posted sign promoting Fall Prevention for Elders... (which immediately set me into a giggle). Mike received pain meds. They took xrays - no fractures - so the finger could be put back in place. It was just dislocated. Whew. The Doc took Mike's hand in his and gentley maneuvered the finger straight. Honestly I didn't watch. He used words like pull, ease and slide. They put a splint on his finger, wrapped his hand and sent us on our way - with all his fingers pointing the same direction!

I pointed out to Mike what restrain I had as I hadn't even blogged or posted a message on "My Face" about his tumble. He laughed (pain meds I'm sure) and said "go for it"... So I did!

Once again I have confirmed my inability to ever be a nurse. Beyond the lurching stomach and the queasiness I was still laughing at inappropriate times... including the stoplight on the way home where we couldn't help but notice the billboard proudly proclaiming "Disasters Happen".

Some people will go to such extremes to avoid a work out!

Attention Shaw Family Members

I feel it's important to remind our family that there is a 'no drama' clause for the 2010 year. You have a genetic obligation to adhere to this binding agreement!

Remember we talked about it? We were going into the new year with a clean slate, fresh outlook, new start.

So right off the bat, the family Patriarch sets the stage. Two weeks into the new year and my husband had a doctor appointment to investigate a problem he's having only to come home with an appointment for surgery! Ahem - that's not part of the 'no drama' agreement.

Fortunately the doctor feels the discovered growth is not malignant and we trust his instinct and are not fretting. It's day surgery. A day of coffee, reading and knitting (and a small amount of fretting) for me while Mike endures the procedure.

Yesterday we got a morning call from Mike's oldest daughter in Texas. Renee said that her sister Tonya fell through the ceiling from the attic to the garage. She was putting Christmas decorations away and stepped off one of the rafters thru the ceiling. Goodness...

Fortunately Dan, Tonya's husband, was not at work but at the nearby school with our granddaughter Mikayla for a Father-Daughter event. (By the way it was Mikayla's 10th birthday.) Tonya came to on the cement floor next to the car in great pain. The ankle looked broken, the arm was suspect and she had a bump on her head.

In the ER they did xrays and a cat scan. She indeed broke her ankle, crushed the bone in her heel, has a contusion and sprain to her arm and a knot on her head. No concussion. Tonya will be on crutches for 2-3 months. She's immobile for now as she can't use the crutches because of the arm trauma.

The orthopedist wanted to see her too. She's scheduled for surgery next Wednesday. She'll sport a new 'bionic' heel with steel plate and pins. They will inject bone marrow from her knee into the tissue to help with the regrowth in the heel.

It could have been SO much worse. We feel so blessed to know God was with her. Dan was going to put the decorations away but Tonya didn't want the cleaning lady to have to work around them. The thing is - I can see any one of the Shaw women doing this exact thing themselves instead of waiting for our husbands.

The knot in our shoulders from worry yesterday is diminishing. My husband and I are both so grateful to know Tonya wasn't more seriously hurt! It was impressive the way our family rallied around her (no biological lines drawn in the sand) - sending love and support from afar. Everyone learned a huge lesson... slippers work well on a balance beam and not so well in the attic.

And in the future we'd be greatly pleased if our family would refrain from further drama! It's only January!